An Attitude of Gratitude

It's the beginning of the end of another year of life and I look back and think of all the amazing things that have happened to me within the last 11 months - I got a half tuition scholarship from the BYU Life Sciences college, fell in complete love over the summer, turned the perfect age of 21, was proposed to on my 21st birthday, and  am now planning the southern wedding of my dreams for next June.  Can life get any better?

I don't mean to brag and say that I have a better life than you, but instead I want to say that I really do have A LOT to be grateful for.  Many of my friends are doing a "30 Days of Thanksgiving" challenge on Facebook where they post something that they are grateful for each day.  I love this idea and I love reading all the different, and sometimes unique, things people are grateful for everyday, but instead of me joining the bandwagon this year, I want to just write about one thing in particular that I'm grateful for - love.

Typically when one hears the word "love" it is usually used in a romantic context.  I feel like many people forget that there are countless different types of love though in addition to just romantic, such as friendship love, parental love, sibling love, puppy love, etc. that people feel everyday but take for granted and overlook.   I just want to express how grateful I am for all the different forms of love I have in my life.  I'm grateful for the parental love that my wonderful parents freely give me each and everyday.  They have been so kind to me and they have truly given me wings to fly.  I would be nothing without them and am so grateful for the example they have set for me all these years and especially grateful that they never fought in front of me. They support me 100% in all my decisions and have never told me what to be or what to do with my life, but rather to do my best and choose what will make me happy. I honestly have the best parents a girl could ask for.  I'm grateful for the singling love that I receive from my brothers and sisters.  My childhood was completed by them and I can't express how much joy they have given me. It is so wonderful to know that you have automatic "built-in" friends that have you back no matter what, even when all your other friends walk out on you.  Matthew, Ryan, Brenton and Melissa, y'all are the best! :)

I'm grateful for this new romantic love I have.  Friends, I cannot convey in words how much I love Matt Billings, but I hope you just get a inkling of an idea from this post.  I am the luckiest girl - I have found a man who loves me for being me. I have found a man who knows the good, the bad, and the ugly sides of me and still wants me.  I have found a man who respects me, cares for me, has the same morals as me and same goals as I do.  I have found a man who would die to make me happy.  I have found my missing puzzle piece, my better half, my best friend.  I am SO grateful for this man... I wish you could understand! He is by no means perfect but he is perfect for me.  I've dated my fair share of "men" in the past and the more men I met, the more I loved my dog. I honestly didn't think that there was a man out there for me, but he was right in my own backyard the entire time!  I know this man better than anyone else and I can honestly say that the more I talk to him and the longer I am with him, the more I fall in love with him.  I have been blessed with the opportunity to get married at a young age to a handsome, fit, loyal man and I can't think of no other way God could be any kinder to me.  I am so blessed and I am so happy.  Matt Billings, you are my world. I love you with all my heart and we will have a marriage and love that people will look to and admire.  I am so excited to spend the rest of my existence sealed to you.

Finally and most importantly, I am grateful for the love that my Heavenly Father gives me.  Everything I am and everything I have done has been by the grace of Him.  I think my love for Matt is unfathomable, but just imagine the love Heavenly Father has for you and me.  Everything I have is from Him and I know I can never pay Him back even a fraction of all he has given me but I can be obedient and serve others and make the world a better place to show my love to Him.

I'm grateful for love and the power it has.  It's softened this girls heart and I believe that if we all showed  just a little bit more love for one another, then miracles would be seen every day. Have a Happy Thanksgiving y'all!

Simply Amazing

Amazing : (adj.) causing wonder or astonishment;  inspiring awe or admiration or wonder. 

How amazing do you think it would be if every person was told they were amazing every day?  Think of the huge difference that would make in the world - there would be less eating disorders, less abuse, less harsh words spoken and more love shared.  I'm defiantly not an English major in any way and can hardly even speak the dang language, but I do believe in the power of words and the great, or harmful, effect they can have.

In high school, I was blessed with the opportunity to work with one of the most amazing and influential people I've ever met.  This woman has changed my life and gives me hope in myself and my future.  She has always been there for me - listened to me complain, seen me cry, and has shared countless laughs with me.  This wonderful person is no other than the incredible Mrs. Sonja Bill, and if you are lucky enough to know her, then God has given you one of the best blessings He could offer.

Tonight I was blessed with the opportunity to have a lovely chat with my dear friend Sonja on the phone.  I told her all the stupid things that were clouding my mind, like how school is pushing me to the point of insanity and how stressful relationships can be, and you know what she said?  Instead of telling me to suck it up because I was the one who chose all this and I shouldn't be complaining, she told me that I was amazing.  She told me that I don't give myself enough credit.  She told me that she knows the reasons why Matt fell in love with me. She told me to just take a breath.  She told me that if I would take a step back and look at myself and everything I am doing then I might have a little more confidence in and lenience for myself.

Well dang, that certainly got the waterworks a goin'. (Sonja, you couldn't hear it, but I was crying on the phone haha)

I'm not a smart person and I've had to work really hard on my education because of it.  I beat myself up when I don't get good enough grades. I lose my confidence when a subject challenges me. And right now, I'm not sure if I will even be able to get into PA school, but I do know that there is a friend who thinks I'm amazing.  I needed to hear those words tonight and I need to start saying those words to someone every day.  It's true - "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves "Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?" Actually, who are you not to be?"

I know there are angels on the earth. Sonja is truly one of my dearest friends and I am so grateful for my friendship with her.  I know this post probably embarrassed her but I want the world to get just a small taste of how amazing she is.  Love you Sonja.